Goat Sim 3

Goat Simulator 3 review

Goat Simulator 3 review


need to know

what is it? A silly physics sandbox with more structure than its 2013 predecessor.
Expect to pay: $30/£25
release date: November 17, 2022
Developer: northern coffee stains
Publisher: coffee stains
commented on: Core i5 12600K, RTX 3070, 32 GB RAM
multiplayer game? cooperative
Association: Epic Games Store(opens in a new tab)

Goat Simulator 3, the second game in the Goat Simulator series, faces an impossible task: how do you make a bigger and better sequel to one of the joke-based physics games, a genre defined by goofy, A bit sleazy and cheap as a premise?

Coffee Stain North’s answer is to use the foundations of Goat Simulator to make a collectathon 3D platformer like Spyro or Mario 64. The result gave me some heartfelt laughs, but its clever moments are precisely strung together by that same, goofy open-world checklist experience that Coffee Stain often strings together in its jokes. The result is better than the original, but not good enough to recommend it.

Back in 2013, the first goat simulator was a huge sales success. I see it as the missing link in the evolution between Garry’s Mod and newer works like Prop Hunt or Crab Game, but in our own review at the time (opens in a new tab), Andy Kelly gave it a 30% Score and call it “a joke” stretched too thin,” concluded, “Aside from the eye-catching premise, it’s just a bad, amateurish and boring game. “

A little harsh, but I don’t totally disagree. I remember my friend bought a goat simulator and we played it for two hours on his laptop in the dorm. Once we were in we never touched it again.

The task of the first goat simulator is to score high in a small, unstable physics sandbox, using headbutts and sticky tongues to damage scenery and harass NPCs. Add some Easter eggs and neat features like a playable story version of Flappy Bird (remember, this is 2013), and that’s it.

In Goat Simulator 3, you have the same basic movement and interaction tools as the ever-popular 3D Super Mario’s ever-escalating triple jump (wow, Wow, wahooooo! ) The new game is set in a larger map, depicting side quests and hidden collectibles, in contrast to GoatSim 1, to create your own fun vibe. Completing side quests builds a central repeat around the likes of Elden Ring’s Roundtable Hold, and completing all of them unlocks the final boss and completes Goat Simulator 3’s “main quest”.

The requirement to live up to its physical gaming roots conflicted with its ambition to be a better, richer game.

I find side quests boring. They usually just ask you to headbutt things or drag people or objects into the correct position.I appreciate their intentionally vague instructions, experimentation leads to very little eureka Really funny and surprising moments. A mission calls on you to save “Steve” from drowning in a spa. There’s apparently a guy floating in the pond, but when you grab him, you realize his name is “Not Steve.” Toss in the water and discover that one of the koi is actually named “Steve” and you have to drag him out.

what a shame

(Image source: coffee stains)

As Steve’s shenanigans demonstrate, Goat Simulator 3’s humor isn’t limited to ragdoll antics. Every quest has a punch line, and even the most tedious side quests have twists or gags that make me laugh out loud. That’s not enough to overcome the monotony of it all. After seeing everything and filling the entire map, I entered the Open World Trance: Open map, track target, done, rinse and repeatIt took me six hours to unlock the final boss in Goat Simulator 3, and by then, I was pretty much ready to do anything else.

No sense of upgrades: you can get almost anywhere from the start. Near the start of the game, I spread the wings and glide like a Spyro, almost never taking them off. This goat can also drive a car, and physics glitches let you fly into the sky with a hat, making it trivial to go anywhere you want. It just feels perfunctory, like Coffee Stain introduces these elements of a structured single-player experience, but you can swipe across the map and see everything it has to offer in an hour or two. The requirement to live up to its physical gaming roots conflicted with its ambition to be a better, richer game.

There are some highlights in the side missions. A very simple quest unlocks a hippie van wizard’s pocket dimension made of floating asteroids to jump around. It felt like those platforming challenges from Super Mario Sunshine (opens in a new tab) that everyone either loved or hated, and Goat Simulator 3 could have benefited from more levels like that.

(Image source: coffee stains)

Similarly, some of Goat Simulator 3’s missions open up to small reference areas and pay homage to games in the NieR series. The snob in me wants to say that reference is the lowest form of comedy, but Goat Simulator 3 commits to that with such conviction that I love its little shouts so much. I laughed when the sand castle I made opened the door to the de_dust2 game in Counter-Strike, and when the game opened with a long game of the iconic carriage ride in Skyrim.

Goat Simulator 3 also introduces online co-op multiplayer for up to four players⁠, as well as a series of multiplayer mini-games found through nodes in the open world. I wasn’t able to test those mini games for this review. The addition of online play is certainly welcome, as most games are more fun to play with friends, but sharing Goat Simulator 1’s antics with my friends in 2013 didn’t prolong its novelty, and I don’t expect it to be here any different.

(Image source: coffee stains)

I find it difficult to recommend Goat Simulator 3 to anyone. I was excited when I first launched it, thinking the collectibles and mind-bending side quests meant it would be like Mario Odyssey or Sable. But Goat Simulator 3 shows its whole hand so quickly, I’m just sick of it. Making a scary kid goat do weird ragdoll physics stunts can be fun, but paying $30 for the privilege is a steal at a time when the joke physics game niche has more options than ever. small amount.

Teardown and Bonelab offer genuine innovation with their destruction physics and VR integration, respectively, while their granddaddy, Garry’s Mod, offers a whole world of modding potential for just $10. There are sprinkles of witty and humorous sparks in Goat Simulator 3, but as a whole, it’s not bad: a competent sandbox of slapstick fools in which goats can run for mayor.

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Bart Thompson
Bart is's List Writer . He is from Houston, Texas, and is currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in creative writing, majoring in non-fiction writing. He likes to play The Elder Scrolls Online and learn everything about The Elder Scrolls series.